Please don't leave me
Dear Blog,
I apologise for my actions (or the lack of it) resulting in such dry posts lately. You see, as you already know, i've not got to slack since i returned from Europe and yes, work is taking hours away from me.
Its not that i dont have interesting thoughts to share anymore, but sometimes, i lose them before i even know it.
If you do not mind, i would like to affirm our bond again by giving retrospective insights into what i've been going through lately.
Well, lets begin with after the Europe trip where i went for my overseas company orientation with lots of fear; fear of not performing, fear of deadlines, fear of inaptitude, fear of disappointing myself. In fact, into the first week of work, i've started fielding questions to myself, if this is really what i want to do. Its tough, but what would be this spark that keeps me going?
I heard an interesting remark by a friend at Shereen's wedding (oh yes! I forgot to tell you, Blog, She's married!) when i said that i'm doing my line of field and asked if she's joining a similar firm in future. She remarked in a not-another-one-who-insists-on-this field. And i was shocked because i think that she's right. I've been brainwashed (by others and by myself, ironically) that i have to enter this field and nothing else. I asked myself if there's any other job tat i can consider with my qualifications and i can't think of any, till now. The part where i start feeling down about this issue is: she's right; i'm doing something that is believed by everyone as the good-o'-well-trodden path. And i hate myself for taking it, just because its a safe, decent job.
Secondly, into 5 weeks(or so), i've met people who's actually inspired me ( for a short while) in not just producing a decent work, but a Quality work. However, the one who inspires me towards quality work, frightens and scares me with the uncompromising hard-handed resort.
Today, it seems a little calmer in the sea and i hope that i can find a positive aspect of this work, to walk off with.
So you see, perhaps it really is my fault for not sharing my thoughts with you. I promise to do so more often.
Yours sincerely,
ernie
I apologise for my actions (or the lack of it) resulting in such dry posts lately. You see, as you already know, i've not got to slack since i returned from Europe and yes, work is taking hours away from me.
Its not that i dont have interesting thoughts to share anymore, but sometimes, i lose them before i even know it.
If you do not mind, i would like to affirm our bond again by giving retrospective insights into what i've been going through lately.
Well, lets begin with after the Europe trip where i went for my overseas company orientation with lots of fear; fear of not performing, fear of deadlines, fear of inaptitude, fear of disappointing myself. In fact, into the first week of work, i've started fielding questions to myself, if this is really what i want to do. Its tough, but what would be this spark that keeps me going?
I heard an interesting remark by a friend at Shereen's wedding (oh yes! I forgot to tell you, Blog, She's married!) when i said that i'm doing my line of field and asked if she's joining a similar firm in future. She remarked in a not-another-one-who-insists-on-this field. And i was shocked because i think that she's right. I've been brainwashed (by others and by myself, ironically) that i have to enter this field and nothing else. I asked myself if there's any other job tat i can consider with my qualifications and i can't think of any, till now. The part where i start feeling down about this issue is: she's right; i'm doing something that is believed by everyone as the good-o'-well-trodden path. And i hate myself for taking it, just because its a safe, decent job.
Secondly, into 5 weeks(or so), i've met people who's actually inspired me ( for a short while) in not just producing a decent work, but a Quality work. However, the one who inspires me towards quality work, frightens and scares me with the uncompromising hard-handed resort.
Today, it seems a little calmer in the sea and i hope that i can find a positive aspect of this work, to walk off with.
So you see, perhaps it really is my fault for not sharing my thoughts with you. I promise to do so more often.
Yours sincerely,
ernie
posted by ernie bernie at 1:24 AM
3 Comments:
Dear ernie,
Pls don't apologise so profusely. You make me feel bad. I am glad there's still a spot for me in your heart. And thx for sharing.
You take care at work ya?
Yours sincerely,
Your blog
Hey
Anonymous is here again after being MIA for a period of time.
Honestly, anonymous is also one of those who struggle with the question of whether this is the right line for her. Sometimes, anonymous cannot help but wonder whether she is "groomed" or "brainwashed" or whatever-u-wanna-call-it to enter this line. 7 weeks into the corporate life and anonymous is wondering whether the long hours, work-like-mad, abondoning-social-life-kinda lifestyle is what anonymous really wants. Anonymous also gets a remark from a certain uncle in campus that for the amount of hours I put in, my salary is peanut. When asked whether I still feel happy doing so-called quality work, I responded with a hesitant, "But even my senior teaches and encourages me to cut corners... and he still works till the wee hours of the morning even though it's juz an interim work" What the heck!
Lets just see how things go....
Anonymous
Hahaha..
Thank you blog, for your kind replies. I'll keep that in mind.
As for anonymous, yes we all have to reflect if what we do, sometimes, is really what we want.
The thing about this industry is that, it gets better through the years, but the question is: who can really make it through? Are we smart and tough enough?
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