Qué Sera Sera, watever'll be 'll be, the future's not ours to see, Qué Sera Sera
Darn! Posting the blog second time! arrgh.
So i had my fortune told, by a stall in the chinatown new year crowd. It ain't the first time anyway, merely wanted to verify if wat my Indian astrologer said was true. And to a certain extent, both were fairly similar, though they used different methodologies. I'm not a sucker for getting my future spelled out, but i guess it was another of my way of getting that "external voice" that i needed. Sometimes, i'm skeptical and sometimes, i like to be fatalistic- going by wat i've heard of myself.
So i've heard tat i'll eventually get married ( to a guy i assume- sigh) and i've heard too, tat i will be having kids of my own (yeah!!) and i've also got tat rough age when my life partner will appear.
But of course, life's not gonna be a breeze so gotta be watchful. I mean, i learn about my flaws which i should be wary of. I mean whether it was voiced out, or whether i know myself, at least there's this external voice that has told me to be wary of, in case my numb-skull didnt realise by itself.
So errm... can i just fast-forward my life from now till then? At least that can spare me the agony of waiting and crying over spilt milk. So does tat mean, that whatever relationship that i ('m going to ) get into, from now till then, will definitely not work out and i should just save myself the agony by cutting it short? or avoid getting into relationships? or enter one without any emotional attachment as i have been wanting to do lately? Man, tat's screwing my mind so much; when u already (seemingly) know the future, you'll make conscious effort to alter the present to welcome the future. I mean, i do believe that we pave our own destiny, but yet on another hand, i'm fatalistic too!
I remember long ago, when i asked D'rianne, if being fatalistic is somewhat a different expression of following God's will. I mean, maybe its somewhat different ideology, like Greek mythology where they believe if Fate- maybe it's just same ideology,but put differently. But come to think of it, the idea of acceding to the powers of an unknown supernatural force, letting it lead us on to other "pleasant surprise" in life- about the same rite? Then again, BLest friend tried to explain that not everything is God's will. Like how i've taken up light betting on sports to win some $$$ for the trip, its not an indication of some Higher force's will of letting me go on my trip or not. But then again, it seems that everything that happens in my life seems to be pushing me towards something... From joining the club, that led me on to knowing new people (directly or indirectly) who would come to influence my life and my outlook in life and my thinking. Its really as though, there's a purpose for meeting all these people, going through all i went through, the losses and gains. Someone's trying to tell me something. Someone's trying to make me realise something and learn things from everything that has happened, and from everyone that i've come to know.
Its about making me realise about myself!! Ehhh, i kinda didn't quite catch wat you were trying to teach me... Puedes repetir, por favor?
There, that's a huge chunk of my outlook in life. Dun try correcting it, coz it wouldnt be me already.
So i had my fortune told, by a stall in the chinatown new year crowd. It ain't the first time anyway, merely wanted to verify if wat my Indian astrologer said was true. And to a certain extent, both were fairly similar, though they used different methodologies. I'm not a sucker for getting my future spelled out, but i guess it was another of my way of getting that "external voice" that i needed. Sometimes, i'm skeptical and sometimes, i like to be fatalistic- going by wat i've heard of myself.
So i've heard tat i'll eventually get married ( to a guy i assume- sigh) and i've heard too, tat i will be having kids of my own (yeah!!) and i've also got tat rough age when my life partner will appear.
But of course, life's not gonna be a breeze so gotta be watchful. I mean, i learn about my flaws which i should be wary of. I mean whether it was voiced out, or whether i know myself, at least there's this external voice that has told me to be wary of, in case my numb-skull didnt realise by itself.
So errm... can i just fast-forward my life from now till then? At least that can spare me the agony of waiting and crying over spilt milk. So does tat mean, that whatever relationship that i ('m going to ) get into, from now till then, will definitely not work out and i should just save myself the agony by cutting it short? or avoid getting into relationships? or enter one without any emotional attachment as i have been wanting to do lately? Man, tat's screwing my mind so much; when u already (seemingly) know the future, you'll make conscious effort to alter the present to welcome the future. I mean, i do believe that we pave our own destiny, but yet on another hand, i'm fatalistic too!
I remember long ago, when i asked D'rianne, if being fatalistic is somewhat a different expression of following God's will. I mean, maybe its somewhat different ideology, like Greek mythology where they believe if Fate- maybe it's just same ideology,but put differently. But come to think of it, the idea of acceding to the powers of an unknown supernatural force, letting it lead us on to other "pleasant surprise" in life- about the same rite? Then again, BLest friend tried to explain that not everything is God's will. Like how i've taken up light betting on sports to win some $$$ for the trip, its not an indication of some Higher force's will of letting me go on my trip or not. But then again, it seems that everything that happens in my life seems to be pushing me towards something... From joining the club, that led me on to knowing new people (directly or indirectly) who would come to influence my life and my outlook in life and my thinking. Its really as though, there's a purpose for meeting all these people, going through all i went through, the losses and gains. Someone's trying to tell me something. Someone's trying to make me realise something and learn things from everything that has happened, and from everyone that i've come to know.
Its about making me realise about myself!! Ehhh, i kinda didn't quite catch wat you were trying to teach me... Puedes repetir, por favor?
There, that's a huge chunk of my outlook in life. Dun try correcting it, coz it wouldnt be me already.
posted by ernie bernie at 2:24 AM
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