Right Here Waiting

Man, someone's waiting at my block as a surprise and i am not out of bed yet. And its 5pm... Figured out that its the Jet Lag most probably, tat's causing me sleepless nites and now i'm paying my sleep debt. Darn...

How do i tell people that i am not able to taste sweetness in life anymore? Can they ever understand? Was trying to psycho myself to imagine opening myself to the taste, but i realise tat i cant do it anymore. Its so much easier and familiar feeling now, to clam myself up.

I dun want to be a replacement for another, and its not fair to make others a replacement for someone lacking in me. Its just not fair and i refuse to do it. I've convinced myself that from now onwards, all relations- friends, love, anything, will just be a fling- will not put any emotions into it, ready to ditch when i like, but its bloody unfair to others.

I'm just a bitter and despondent person. Arrgh! I'll try to break out of it as promised, Sha.