5th July- u know wat that means???
It means tat Barefoot is over!
hahaha. Oh well, for one, i'm glad tat it ended on the right note- much better atmosphere than I thought it would be. I'm glad my SM and the rest of the team made the atmosphere a more happy working one than if i were to be in charge at the theatre.

Mixed feelings/-post production blues are expected. But i dun really sense the post production blues leh. There's tons of work to do, and lots of emotions to settle.

I'm glad tat i have the production team at full steam towards the last one month of the show, and that all those previous fears and worries were - although not unjustified- is not really called for. I was really stupid- there's a time for studies and a time for production- never can i concentrate two (or three) at the same time. I'll only make myself a miserable person who can't juggle everything and seem as though i've lost it all..Timing was really bad- having to juggle problems at production and modified term, the feeling as though i am super lost- i thought i had my refuge and my solace- but it just added to my woes. Burying emotions in production is apparently the route many other people chose, i just realised. Oh well, What's done cannot be undone. You can sop and mourn and cry for the things that u have lost, but would that make u blind to the things u have gained?

Anyway, in case u readers have missed Barefoot- ( if u can afford effort to read my blog but cannot afford effort to support me at Barefoot, wat are you to me anyway?) IT was a damn good show. U've missed it, and you'll live to regret it!

At the end of it all, after bump out and having supper till 5am with pat, shil and gang, i was trying again to weigh the cost-benefit of Barefoot in my life. And until now, i still do not know the answer, seriously. I know i've lost a lot, and i have certainly gained a lot too, but towards achieving this goal, i wellow in self-pity a lot.

Oh, and again, i got to hear Cheryl's singing. She is superb, and i LOVE her singing. Cheryl is the highlight in the whole show. Especially when she and the gang sings, Tears on my Pillow and The Hungry Years... i cry in my heart all the time.........

i promise i'll give the whole lyrics the next time i lay my hands on it, but for now this are the lines in my head..

Tears on my pillow,
pain in my heart,
caused by you.

Watching the show over and over again at times was unbearable to me. It made me think and try to reconcile the theme inside the show with my beliefs and what i hear around me. It cannot reconcile and i end up- miserable. I'll never find an answer but maybe, just maybe, there never need to be any reconciliation in the first place...I wished tat life could be as simple as tat in the show. Tat is my idea of how it should be, but should it really??

I'm exhausted in the mind..teach me...